Husband, marriage

Tips for a “Happily Ever After”

My husband Brady and I have been married for 20 years! I always, have people ask me “What’s the secret to your happy marriage? To be honest, we had nothing to do with it, God put us together for a reason! To love each other and show our kids what marriage should look like. Here’s what we’ve learned in those 20 years!

  1. Don’t sweat the small stuff: When Brady and I got married, he would leave the toothpaste cap off and it would drive me crazy! I can’t believe we actually argued over such a small thing. If that’s he’s only flaw, why bother arguing about it!
  2. Encourage each other’s hopes and dreams: After 20 years of being married, I can’t tell you all the times we’ve had a crazy idea! Here’s a tip, tell your husband, “That’s great honey.” He’ll eventually figure out if it’s a bad idea or if it’s worth investing your time and money into it.
  3. Go on a date night, at least once a week: This is the hardiest thing for us to do. Christian is 16 and is involved in Choir and Theatre. Daniel is 12 and is involved in Boys Scout, orchestra, and theatre. There’s always an event to see and someplace to take the kids to. Your date night doesn’t have to be elaborate or long. Some weeks going to “Costco” or to “Starbucks” is all we can squeeze for our date night!
  4. Be honest with one another: I know, I know! We love to hear how great we look in our new outfit. But, please be honest! I’m 5’1, if I look fat, let me know! If I’ve gained weight, let me know! This doesn’t mean your spouse loves you any less, it’s the opposite! He loves you enough to be honest and wants the best for you!
  5. Say, “I love you” before bedtime!: This may sound cheesy, but I never go to bed without saying “I love you” to Brady and kissing him goodnight! It’s such a small gesture but, I promise, it makes a difference!
  6. Don’t stay mad for days! Brady and I have 2 different styles when it comes to fighting. He wants to stay mad for hours and I want to get over it and move on! No matter what style you have, don’t stay made too long! Think about the fight, “Is it worth staying made at your spouse? 99% of the time it isn’t!
  7. Say “I love you” before you leave: Every time Brady and I leave for work, we always say “I love you!” I want him to know that he’s loved everyday! 🙂
  8. Don’t forget to bring home flowers, every once in a while! So, I made the mistake once to tell Brady that it’s dumb to spend a ridiculous amount on roses on Valentines Day or Mother’s Day. He interrupted that conversation as “Don’t ever buy your wife flowers on Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day! I just wanted him to know that he could buy me something else besides flowers. I love when he comes home with flowers or surprises me at work with a delivery of fresh Hydrangea They’re my favorite!
  9. Make your spouse feel special: How is this done? Well each person is different! But, I leave Brady a message on the mirror so he knows I’m thinking about him. I use my lipstick and write something sweet like “Hey sexy” and wait for him to notice it!
  10. Learn to communicate with one another : When we first got married, Brady and I didn’t know how to fight fairly! We would argue for hours and not listen. Just wait for our opportunity to argue our case. 20 years later, we’ve learned how communicate! When you fight, tell the other person “Is this what you’re trying to tell me?” or “I understand you’re upset because…” You can’t believe how many arguments we’ve had because of miscommunication. Please feel free to add on to our list! What’s your marriage tip? -Dot


7 thoughts on “Tips for a “Happily Ever After”

  1. I love the post! Hubs and I just hit 9 years and we still have many more years to go. Thank you for reminding me what marriage is all about. It’s hard to juggle my three kids. HAHA! The hubs and my boys. =)

  2. Congrats on 20 years! You are a beautiful couple! One of my tips is not to lose yourself in your marriage. It is a partnership but it doesn’t mean the “you” should go away. Encourage and foster personal development!

  3. First off, congrats on being married 20 years! My husband and I have been married for 19 years, and I appreciate you sharing what you’ve learned over the years. All of these are so important and should be practiced! Great post!

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